The Hills are Alive...With the Sound of Wednesday...

 
Pre-Season Starts Here...

So without a tour to look forward to we decided to get our Airmiles sorted and spend a long weekend in a European city. Salzburg was one of the destinations we discussed. Then suddenly they announce they ARE playing a game in Austria after all and it's ….. in Salzburg - nice one.

Mrs S got on the blower to Airmiles and managed to get 3 nights sorted flying from Manchester to Munich then by train to Salzburg - then the Airmiles bloke said he could do us 5 nights for the same price as 3 - OK we'll have some of that - leave on Thursday 8th get back on Tuesday 13th the day after my birthday sorted.
Thursday 8th July 2010
As it's Airmiles it’s a BMI flight booked through Lufthansa so it's an efficient flight with an all German crew. Now German girls may not be the prettiest in the whole wide world but to underline that FACT one of the stewardesses was a deadringer for JFD, hairy armpits too I would imagine!

When we got to Munchen airport I went off to sort the train tickets out. We had heard it would be €50 each to Salzburg which would mean €200 in total there and back nearly 200 flippin quid BUT I had read about a day ticket called a Bayern Ticket which gives unlimited travel in Bavaria after 9am for up to 5 people for just €28 in total!!! So a total cost of €56 for all the train travel. (Salzburg is classed as being in Bavaria even though it's just over the border). When I got the large paper ticket from the very efficient bloke behind the counter I said to him "es ist keine lamellierte Derbyshirewayfarerkarte in meiner sehr ehrlichen Meinung zwar" (it is no laminated Derbyshire Wayfarer ticket in my very honest opinion though). He shrugged "Raus Englander"

We got a taxi from the station to the hotel and the bloke behind the counter said "Hello, I have not been looking forward to you coming, we have a very big mistake, it is all our fault 100%, we are overbooked you do not have a room" …"but we have booked you into a similar starred sister hotel on the other side of town"

After a bit of argy bargy Mrs S managed to wangle as compensation not only the taxi fare, which you would expect, but 2 x 3 day Salzburg Cards (free entrance into all tourist attractions and all transport) and a bottle of Champagne!!!! The new hotel was nearer the city centre and also meant we didn’t need a taxi back to the station.
Friday 9th July 2010
It was so fucking hot!

At breakfast Mrs S managed to get jam all down her top and trousers and demanded to go shopping for more clothes. We booked for a Sound of Music Tour in the afternoon and went to sit in the Mirabell Gardens most famous for being the site of the “Do Re Mi” song from the Sound of Music where all the kids jump about on the steps and that. Very lovely, well kept, very romantic, lovely view, lovely weather Mrs S was obviously overwhelmed by it all as she looked me in the eye and said ……………….  "We need to go to B&Q when we get back!"

We were the only English people on the coach tour and it lasted FOUR hours. Most of the others were Americans who must have videoed and took pics for the whole FOUR hours non stop. We finished the evening off with a traditional restaurant...a bit of the local delicacy, Wiener Schnitzel and beer...

Saturday 10th July 2010
Match day

It was so fucking hot! We got to the number 25 bus stop next to our hotel around 11am, at the next stop a bloke in the new away shirt got on with his wife and daughter and he said he'd been to the ground the day before so we could follow him. At the next stop in the Old Town there were quite a few people waiting for the bus and the first person on was Tango followed by a few of his mates. After about 20 minutes there was about 15 of us got off the bus in Anif and walked to the ground. All there seemed to be in Anif was a road junction and a posh looking hotel - we crossed over just as a police car got to the lights - they must have though "fuck me English football hooligans in our village"

We turned off the main road towards ……….. nowhere - we were loitering at the back of the group as everyone followed the bloke that knew where the ground was. We hadn't passed any bars but he'd assured us there was a bar at the ground.

Phew there was a bar there and they were just opening up! There was a terrace outside the bar with tables with umbrellas overlooking the pitch, which was in immaculate condition, there was a small stand to our right that was above the changing rooms, a grassy knoll on the side opposite the stand and the views of the mountains were astonishing! It was no Halifax though but you could imagine it being a jigsaw picture.

Another couple of lads turned up and one of them, Jim, was a mate of a mate who we talk to at half time in the North Stand and his mate with him was Steve. They came over and sat with us and told us they were staying in Munchen and had got the train to Salzburg for the day. They kept saying how amazing Munchen was and that there was a park in the middle of the city that had a river running through it that people could surf on. In fact every 30 minutes or so all day he kept saying “Surfing! In the city centre!! Amazing!!!”

The team arrived about 1pm and I went over to introduce myself to Sedgy. He is a big mate of my nephew, Andy Monkhouse the Hartlepool star. Grant wasn’t on the bus and some bloke said “oh yeah he hasn’t come with them he’s off to Wigan” The Chairman of Anif came round to chat to us and asked if we were the team!!! “err no mate”. He welcomed us with open arms, asked if we were having a good time and wished us well. 10 minutes later he was back with the “official” one and only team sheet and went through it with us asking if the names were correct and how they were pronounced. By this time they had put the gate across the entrance and had started charging to get in €5 I think but half the crowd must have already been in so we didn’t get a souvenir ticket and there were no programmes.

The teams came out, Wednesday in yellow and blue, Anif in white and red, lined up and did that hand shaking thingy. Why can’t we play in our proper kit when there isn’t a clash? I’m sure the traditional blue and white stripes would have been appreciated by the Anif crowd. I remember a friendly at Celtic a few years ago when we did the same thing. Imagine us playing Celtic at Hillsborough and them not playing in green and white hoops – you’d feel cheated and want your money back – well I would anyway.

This was it then the new season the dawning of a new age – it was up to Irvine no – no excuses – no blaming Laws – this was pretty much his team They lined up O’Donnell in goal, Buxton, Purse, Beevers, Jones across the back, Sedgy, Miller, Potter, Boden, across midfield and Mellor and Heffernan up front. As they were about to kick off it became obvious Mellor is fucking huge and Heffernan is a fucking midget. In the first minute there was a horrendous crunching “tackle” by Jones on their number 7. If it hadn’t been a friendly he would have been booked, if it hadn’t been in the first minute he would have been booked, so in just about any other game he would have been off and deservedly so. The ref just said to him “No No”

The first 15 minutes was all Anif but they never looked like scoring or even getting in the box. Most of them looked like they were in their late teens with a couple of older experienced “heads”. “We should be beating these kids shouldn’t we?” I asked
On 20 minutes the Anif defence lost the ball to Mellor who tried a chip from about 20 yards out – it was from the school of Jeff Thomas – the keeper could have caught it easily but he flapped at it like a big girls blouse and it nearly ended up in the net
Immediately after that the ref stopped the game and all the players went off the pitch – I though he decided if Wednesday weren’t taking it seriously he was going to stop the game – thank fuck for that ….. BUT it was only a drinks break as it was so fucking hot.
We began to get more into the game, there was a shot tipped over, great linkage play between Buxton and Mellor but Sedgy and Heffernan got in the way of each other going for the cross. A free kick on the edge of the box well over. Then after 35 minutes the ball was pulled back to Heffernan on the edge of the 6 yard box with an open goal, we were out of our seats BUT he somehow managed to side foot it wide – miss of the season IMVHO.

Just before half time Sedgy lost the ball in the centre circle and one of there blokes was through with just the keeper to beat and he put it wide, phew! Cue Tango, on his own, “der der der der fucking useless”
Half time and what a load of old shite that had been. I don’t even remember Boden touching the ball.

Irvine made 9 changes for the second half – just Buxton and Beevers staying on with Buxton moving to centre half.
They came out lining up Jameson in goal, Otsemobor, Buxton, Beevers, Spurr in the back 4, JJ, Palmer, O’Connor, Teale, and Tudgay and Coke up front.

Mrs S “I thought Grant wasn’t here”
Me “He isn’t”
Mrs S “Isn’t that him in goal”
Me “No”
Mrs S “Well it looks like him”

In the first 20 seconds Palmer had a cracking shot that was just over, seconds later JJ and Otsemobor linked up down the left, Otsemobor was off like an Olympic sprinter crossed the ball low and hard and Tudders whipped it just over.

This was more like it Anif must have thought the proper team was out now and they were in for a whipping!

Well that didn’t last long. Palmer had another good shot; he seemed to be the only one really that bothered to be honest. Mrs S “That Teale looks a right hard case” Bloke in stand on his own started singing “All we are saying is give us a goal” I had a walk round the pitch to take a few photos and I walked past the Anif subs warming up, I reckon they were all about 16 or 17. Wednesday got a corner just as I was behind the goal and I was thinking this will be a great pic if we score but the defence cleared it and the keeper was shouting “RAUS RAUS”

Another drinks break after 20 minutes
At the far side someone hoofed the ball over the advertising hoardings and over a bank past some trees. Tommeh leapt over the barrier and went to look for it – he was gone for a couple of minutes, rumour had it he had run into a lonely goatherd high on a hill. There was pretty much nothing happening at all – Coke got put through but he was offside. After 70 minutes there was a rare attack followed by a corner. The most exciting thing to happen was Otsemobor calling the ref a “fucking tosser” when he gave a throw the wrong way

The bench were shouting at JJ to close people down – why does he need to be told to do simple things like that? wouldn’t you think he could work it out for himself? Tudders moved out to the right and JJ went in the middle. Tudders was shouting to JJ telling him where he should go and what to do. Anif subbed their keeper with a 15 year old midget – this is it now we thought. A free kick from the edge of the box from Teale that the midget saved at the second attempt. It was all Wednesday now, loads of possession “we’re gonna score in a minute I thought” With about 5 minutes left Tudders won a header at the far post – he didn’t even have to jump to get to it before the keeper – headed it down into the 6 yard box but nobody was there following up. That was it a very disappointing display against a team that seemed to be mostly young kids.

I know it was the first game after a hard week’s training, in very hot conditions and a lot of the team hadn’t played together before but I wouldn’t be betting on Wednesday pissing the Austrian 3rd Division! I reckon there were about 50 or 60 Wednesday fans there and on the way back to the away end terrace to grab a beer and a double sausage hot dog we saw sheffieldblue. The team were out and off dead quick, someone said they were catching a flight home an hour or so after the game.

After about an hour of sitting around chilling with Andy and Steve a second game started up. This appeared to be Anif Reserves v Roma. We left at half time when the score was 5-3 to Anif.
We walked back into Anif and stopped for a beer or 2 at the posh hotel we had passed earlier – it was about 7pm on a Saturday night but we were the only people there. We then got a taxi back to Salzburg and had another beer before Andy and Steve got a taxi back to the station and me and Mrs S went to get an ice cream.

Sunday 11th July 2010
It was so fucking hot!
We used our free Salzburg Cards to do all the touristy things that you have to do

Monday 12th July 2010
My birthday
It was so fucking hot!
We went for a horse and carriage ride round the Old Town only €40 for a 20 minute ride
We had a wonderful piece of cake and a coffee on a café terrace overlooking Mozart Square

Later went for an Italian before ending up in Europe’s largest beer garden. An amazing place where you pay for a litre or half litre stein (mug), we had one of each, pick your stein off a shelf, wash it out and get it filled up with beer, you then have to find a place to sit. There must have been at least 500 people in the garden. There were several huge beer halls too but there were only half a dozen people in each of these. We sat down just as the 3 piece band was finishing its first set with "Down Under" After about 30 minutes they came back on stage and started a steady stream of poor cover versions Queen/Eagles/Chuck Berry/Status Quo - as well as mixing in what sounded like traditional Austrian/German classics that got everyone singing along, well almost everyone. During one song most people got up and stood on their chairs clapping along. I was going to join in but Mrs S told me not to.

They started another song and I thought "hang on a minute I know this … it's …erm … it's … erm … fuck me". Mrs S thought I'd gone mad when I started singing/shouting along …….. "I'm on the Highway to Hell" and everyone else was singing "i'm on ze hiiiiighvay to hell ..." (thanks pook)

Tuesday 13th July 2010
It was so fucking hot!

Got the train back to Munich Airport and arrived back in Manchester to appalling weather, as expected, and horrendous traffic.
A cracking few days - shit match - not sure if I mentioned this but....weather too hot - Austria very expensive
They reckon Irvine does this Austrian malarkey every year so next year we will stay in Munich and get the Bayern Wayfarer to the game and back...Who doesn't love their away days?

HarrySpeakup
Owls Alive