Prawn sandwiches were off the menu in the Keane household this weekend...
Want my views? Just show us the goals!
A warm welcome to the new season of the Second Division/First Division/Championship/Big League or as the media seemingly now sees it, ‘The league with Newcastle and 23 other clubs’. The BBC were kind enough to give us the opportunity to see the fallen giants in action on Saturday evening in the first of their ten live Championship games this season and then after making us wait up until nearly midnight for the rest of the day’s goals proceeded to show, you guessed it, the goals from Newcastle against someone or other first up on the swanky new highlights show.
I say swanky because unlike ITV’s offering they do have a studio, albeit the faux-bricked warehouse used for Dragons’ Den. Talking of which wouldn’t you love to see Mike Ashley on there begging Peter Jones for £100 million for 5% of the centre circle or whatever daft sum he’s asking for?
Negative points about the new highlights show were the unnecessary ‘text us in your views’ interruptions (works at 6pm on 606, not at 12.30am when we just want to see the bloody goals) and an expert panel of Steve ‘Old’ Claridge and Ian ‘Croaky’ Holloway. The only positive was that we were not, and shall no longer be, subjected to Matt Smith and his scarves.
Nuneaton for Keane?
Good of Middlesbrough and our friends from down the road to show us all what we’ve been missing so badly all summer...with a dour 0-0 draw at the Riverside. The booing at the end served to illustrate the unerring impatience of football fans, although Gareth Southgate got off lightly compared to a certain Mr B. Gunn of Norwich.
Wednesday can take heart from the fact they weren’t the only side to throw away a two-goal on Saturday with Bristol City matching that dubious honour, although injury-time equalisers at Deepdale are hardly something Wednesdayites will be too quick to smile about.
Roy Keane revealed on Sunday morning radio that losing makes him lose his appetite so Clinton Morrison’s brace later that afternoon will have saved Mrs Keane the bother of making a Sunday roast.
James Hayter, meanwhile, wins my vote for goal of the weekend with a proper goal; a looping header from outside the box in Donny’s 2-2 draw at Watford.
Empty Seats Cup
This evening sees a flurry of glamour ties in the First Round of this year’s ‘Which of the Big Four can be bothered this year?’ Cup. The tie of the round is surely Dagenham & Redbridge’s trip to Cardiff’s new ground where presumably they’ll be able to test the sturdiness of the spanking new empty seats each time a ball is whacked into a gaping hole in the 20,376 capacity arena.
QPR will no doubt relish a trip to Exeter just four days before visiting Plymouth in the league, while there are no less than three ties in Sheffield as Port Vale and Rochdale visit Bramall Lane and Hillsborough respectively and the Millers take on Brian Clough’s Derby County.
My favourite pre-Cup quote comes from Donny manager Sean O’Driscoll who paid Sven County the ultimate compliment by saying ‘they have got one or two, or even one, high-profile player in Lee Hughes.’
Can I quote you on that?
And finally, Championship managers did their best to cheer up their already-depressed fans by coming out with all the clichés about the first game result meaning little in the long-run. Swansea’s Paulo Sousa shrugged off his side’s 2-1 defeat at Leicester by claiming, ‘this is only one game and things in the future will be different.’ Gareth Southgate meanwhile ignored his side’s blatant lack of firepower coming out with the classic line, ‘I can’t fault the players’ effort and attitude.’ Scunthorpe gaffer Nigel Adkins however seems ready for a season of struggle, ‘We got a good hiding as expected.’
Palace’s poor little soldier Freddie Sears moaned: ‘I got kicked a few times,’ while our very own Brian Laws kept the tabloids happy with this classic: ‘We looked like Real Madrid in the first half then turned into a real pain in the arse in the second half!’
I suppose that's one take on the old game of two halves line, Lawsy...
Enjoy your football.
Creg,
